My Daughter in History

On March 31st, 2014 my digital was dead and I was told that it was the day Moroni would be put on top of the Provo City Center Temple. I didn't know what time, so I stashed my film camera in my bag and went along my day. Rubye and I just ran an errand and on the way back we drove by the temple and there was Moroni laying on the ground with people all around. So we parked and thought we would watch. We live just down the street so I called a neighbor and told her it was happening, so she came with her children to watch with us. We even made it on the news. Yes, un-showered, glasses on, pony-tail in, and an oversized plaid shirt - me, made it on the news saying how its not every day you get to watch this kind of history being made. I mostly wanted to document for Rubye that she was there. When she is 30 or 40-something and brings her children to Utah, as all mormons do at some point, when she stands in front of this temple she can talk about how she was here, how she sat on that bench and watched, and clapped and shouted "Yay! Temple!" I think that's important. 

Provo, UT

While we're talking about my daughter, I do have one. I seldom put her on here because at the beginning of a semester at school one of my professors gave a long speech to the class, 90% of which were girls, about how being a photo student was a poor choice. How being a photographer was pointless for a career. How he knows several photographers whose real job is being a grocery clerk so they can support there family and they photograph on the side, nothing really coming of it. And if we are being a photo student just so we can take good photographs of our children then it was a waste of our time and an education. That's what I got out of it at least. I left that class so upset and mad I could have punched someone in the face, instead I swore I would not get married, have children and only photograph them, and blog about them. So that has led to an extreme lack of good photos of my daughter. She is mostly photographed on a cell phone, and sometimes put on facebook via instagram.  So, here is my one blog post for a while to come about Rubye. I love her very much, and I think she is beautiful. These are her 2 year portraits her great grandma had to ask me to take and send to her. I am no Sally Mann, nor have I ever intended to be. Remember I am still working on who I am as a photographer, but I know I am a photographer.  

Rexburg, ID

Clara's Blessing

You may remember my niece from this post.  

She was blessed in May so we went down to Utah to participate in the festivities and take a few photos.

Enjoy!

  

                                      

Payson, UT

Officially Published!

Back in my last year of collage (2011), I was recruited to help make new informational signs for Mesa Falls, in Idaho. They are a set of water falls in Targhee National Forest. I went up several times and shot a whole list of things that needed to be re-photographed, you may remember this blog post. The group that was assembled to work on the project crumbled but I kept in contact with the forest ranger over the project, Sue. Four years later something came of it! I was 90% sure I wouldn't hear anything back, and that if my photos were used I would have no idea and I wouldn't get any credit or payment.  A few months ago she found me and told me that new signs were finally being made and that she didn't think any of my photos made it on the signs but I did make it on the website.  Last weekend we went up to the falls to look at the new signs and meet with Sue. We think at least one of my photos are on the signs, without credit, but I do have several photos scattered all over the website, some with credit, some without. Go take a look, my name is at the bottom of THIS page but look at the other pages and heck, assume any photos you want is mine since some of them may be.

I am thankful I got to work on the project under Sue who remembered me and my work. I am thankful I had a reason to wake up early and spend a few hours to myself photographing the landscape. I am grateful I got to go camping one night where no one else is allowed to camp with bear mace, that was cool. I am thankful I got a reason to explore parts of Idaho I would have never known about without this project. I am thankful I got published. I have a lot to be thankful for as a photographer.  

Riley Dunks

You may remember this lady? She is my best girl friend from my last two years of high school in Eugene, Or. This shows you how much we have grown up since we first met in 2004. She recently had this little boy and in April when I was home for my little sisters wedding I stopped by and we had a little photo shoot. Who dosn't look for a reason to play with a new baby? And he is a good baby. He only cryer once as you can see below and that was even with us putting him on a lawn mower and a jeep. Take a look and feel free to congratulate Cali on her sweet new addition!

 

Springfield, OR

Chelsie & Mike

A few months ago my little sister had a whorl wind of an engagement and marriage, as is custom in LDS culture between semesters of school.  The engagements were taken in March, and the wedding was in April. We had the most lovely weather for the engagement session and because of our good luck then, it rained like mad for the wedding it self.  We took just a couple shots in the rain with the whole group of people then ran inside the Temple to take just a few more of Chelsie and Mike in the Atrium.  Good thing the Portland LDS Temple has an atrium due to the amount of rain they have and number of weddings.  Luckily we had good weather the next day at the reception.  Take a look at the happily hasty couple on their Big Days!

 

 

Special thanks to Brother Johnson and your efforts for trying to keep my Baby dry! 

Its hard to keep a toddler dry when they are so determined to be wet!

Starting Anew

I have been thinking a lot and for awhile on what path I am on as a photographer.  I feel I have found myself on the path I never wanted to be on and traveled by a lot of other people. Robert Frost would not be happy with me.  I have always wanted to photograph landscapes and different studies of things that have interested me or that I find beautiful.  So how do I get on the path that I want to be on?  What are the first steps that I take?

Instead of buying myself something to further my portrait career I bought myself something to further my true happiness as a photographer.  A true Christmas present from myself, and everyone else that just gave me money for christmas.  A Fuji 6x9.  I used this camera in college and adored it.  It's simple but robust and produces the most lovely large, yet still medium format, negatives.  I think it will serve me well for the rest of my life.

Let me tell you why film: it's not that it's cool to shoot it or that I think it produces better work than digital.  It's because it's slow and magical.  I have always compared it to ceramics; you work hard on a piece and do the best you can, place it in the kiln and hope the pottery gods smile upon it.  It's not until the next day that you open the kiln and see the results of your labor have worked out in your favor and happiness rushes over you when it does.  Photography is a bit more exact then ceramics but it's similar in the fact that for a period of time your work is shut off from you.  No matter how confident you are in your exposure and your development skills, the rush of exuberance and joy that comes over me when I look at my freshly developed negative is wonderful.  Once this feeling me made me exclaim "I LOVE PHOTOGRAPHY" to the whole photo-lab one day with out even thinking about it.  I just love it. Digital doesn't give me as much of that feeling.  

For this new path I need more than just my camera.  I need a plan.  I needed a refresher course in "On being a photographer" by David Hurn and Bill Jay.  This book was required reading for one of my classes in school.  I found it had exactly what I was feeling and what I needed to do about it.      

"It seems to me self-evident that in order to photograph with any degree of continuous passion, you must have a fascination for the subject, otherwise you cannot sustain an interest in the act of creation for a long enough period of time in which to make any insightful or original statement about it."

So true.  What insightful or original statement am I making in the world of Portrait Photography? Nothing. I have little trists of creativity when on a shoot, but for the most part I literally copy what other people have done for my clients, which is fine, people have done it for hundred of years in portrait photography and I think it needs to be done.  I just don't want it to define me as a photographer.

"I began shooting anew, with a simple concentration on the subjects which most interested me, with no thought of success, prestige, or reputation, but with a  joyous liberation..."

Yes! Joyous Liberation!

How?

"The first thing to do is carry a notebook and during quiet times or as the thought occurs to you, couple a list of anything that really interests you.  In other words, write a list of subjects which fascinate you without regard to photography.  What could inflame your passion and curiosity over a long period of time?  At that stage, make the list without any regard for photography.  Be specific as possible..."

So thats the second gift I got for Christmas.  A little blue notebook nestled in my stocking.  I think of things like this all the time and try to remember them, but I don't.  I need to write them down. So this little blue notebook is going in my bag.  Right with my essentials; wallet, diapers, wet wipes, sippy cup cell phone, keys, blue photography notebook.  Let me give you a peak into what my blue book will have; Power lines (they are large yet delicate, each is unique, I could look at them all day), 'My Country Tis of Thee' (Purple mountains majesty upon the fruited plains - lovely), Invictus (William Ernest Henley - Read it!), Where I live (my neighborhood)... the list goes and will go on and on.

We will have to have a conversation latter on how Bill Jay helps narrow down this list.  For now this is my anew; I may be young, I may be a mother, I may be in Utah waiting for my husband to finish school, I may shoot the occasional portrait but I will not let this define me as a photographer.


"I am the master of my fate: I am the captain of my soul." 

The following photos were taken on my maiden voyage with my fuji.  Watch for more.

Kodak Tmax 

120mm

Provo, UT

Baby Clara

Almost 5 years ago I photographed this little guy and just four weeks ago he got a new baby sister.  I'm happy that I live so close to them now that I was able to shoot some film of her still in the hospital, then just a couple days later staged in her home. Take a peek. I will say this: it is encouraging to see that my photography has improved in 5 years, at least I think it has. 

Kodak Tmax

I thought I'd sneak in one of my sweet baby!

American Fork, UT